On Psychosis and Writing

I get an idea.  A few minutes later, the very distinct thought: I need to stop thinking about this too hard.  Or I need a pen. My fingers twitch.    Pen. It can’t move fast enough on the page, chaos that will be a brief note in a dated, color coded table of contents.  TuckedContinue reading “On Psychosis and Writing”

On Functionality Thresholds and Medication

So I saw a psychiatrist through an online urgent care service after remembering that it was an option, and started on a new antipsychotic.  I had a lot of mixed feelings about going back on meds.  At first, I felt like it was a cynical move—the action that confirmed the thought that I wouldn’t getContinue reading “On Functionality Thresholds and Medication”

On Knowing Your Mind Is Vulnerable, and What You Do About It

I’m writing.  It’s going really well.  Pages and pages of ink in my beloved dot grid Moleskine.  So many pages, I think to comment to friends about my comparatively unpretentious but equally beloved Bic pen that has somehow lasted me almost sixty total pages, plus about half of my previous Moleskine, and months of WordContinue reading “On Knowing Your Mind Is Vulnerable, and What You Do About It”

On Farrah and Treatment

Previously “Fuck,” I mumbled when my shoulder cramped, which was interesting, because I’d kind of assumed I was nonverbal at the moment, the way my thoughts flowed or didn’t and a familiar feeling somewhere in my throat, though I hadn’t tested it.  I couldn’t blame my shoulder for cramping; my disorientation at speaking came withContinue reading “On Farrah and Treatment”