On Nightmares, Briefly

It was a nice enough dream until it wasn’t.  I don’t remember the rest of it, but it was uneventful and nostalgic.  I was at the middle school I went to for eighth grade and, as usual, my dad was picking me up from school.  But he seemed uneasy, in a way he’d never expressedContinue reading “On Nightmares, Briefly”

On Psychosis and Writing

I get an idea.  A few minutes later, the very distinct thought: I need to stop thinking about this too hard.  Or I need a pen. My fingers twitch.    Pen. It can’t move fast enough on the page, chaos that will be a brief note in a dated, color coded table of contents.  TuckedContinue reading “On Psychosis and Writing”

On Knowing Your Mind Is Vulnerable, and What You Do About It

I’m writing.  It’s going really well.  Pages and pages of ink in my beloved dot grid Moleskine.  So many pages, I think to comment to friends about my comparatively unpretentious but equally beloved Bic pen that has somehow lasted me almost sixty total pages, plus about half of my previous Moleskine, and months of WordContinue reading “On Knowing Your Mind Is Vulnerable, and What You Do About It”

On Farrah and Treatment

Previously “Fuck,” I mumbled when my shoulder cramped, which was interesting, because I’d kind of assumed I was nonverbal at the moment, the way my thoughts flowed or didn’t and a familiar feeling somewhere in my throat, though I hadn’t tested it.  I couldn’t blame my shoulder for cramping; my disorientation at speaking came withContinue reading “On Farrah and Treatment”

On the Protection of a Facade

I recently read The Collected Schizophrenias by Esmé Weijun Wang (and I saw so much of myself in it, I’ll probably write a whole other post about how amazing it was).  One theme that jumped out at me can be summed up in this quote: “To some extent, the brilliant facade of a good faceContinue reading “On the Protection of a Facade”