On Growing Up in a Violent World

Seventh grade, age twelve.  There’s a swastika duct taped—really, not spray painted, duct taped—on the ground on the basketball courts, and so PE is moved to the soccer field.  We also could’ve moved to the indoor basketball court, or the pool room, or the gym room, or the track, or the tennis courts, or—God, thisContinue reading “On Growing Up in a Violent World”

On 2020, and More

2020 has been a hell of a year for everyone.  For me, it meant turning twenty-two, buying a home, getting married, writing accomplishments from a tenth NaNoWriMo to self publishing, pandemic quarantine keeping me from my library volunteering, my best friend moving in and then out, going back on meds, reading dozens of books, crochetingContinue reading “On 2020, and More”

On Assorted Illnesses and Language (A Conlang Concept)

As someone into grammar and linguistics, who debates the requirements of a split infinitive and the correctness of implied antecedents and whether you can punctuate dialogue with semicolons, for fun, language is in my head a lot.  As someone with schizophrenia, not to mention autism, language gets messy.  I’ve pondered making a mini constructed languageContinue reading “On Assorted Illnesses and Language (A Conlang Concept)”

On Knowing Your Mind Is Vulnerable, and What You Do About It

I’m writing.  It’s going really well.  Pages and pages of ink in my beloved dot grid Moleskine.  So many pages, I think to comment to friends about my comparatively unpretentious but equally beloved Bic pen that has somehow lasted me almost sixty total pages, plus about half of my previous Moleskine, and months of WordContinue reading “On Knowing Your Mind Is Vulnerable, and What You Do About It”

On Farrah and Treatment

Previously “Fuck,” I mumbled when my shoulder cramped, which was interesting, because I’d kind of assumed I was nonverbal at the moment, the way my thoughts flowed or didn’t and a familiar feeling somewhere in my throat, though I hadn’t tested it.  I couldn’t blame my shoulder for cramping; my disorientation at speaking came withContinue reading “On Farrah and Treatment”